Talking About and Resolving Conflict

In relationships, whether platonic, romantic, familiar, conflict is unavoidable. It can make or break your relationships. So knowing how to talk about what happened can be quite helpful. Trust yourself, and recognize when you’ve reached your limit. People can’t stop doing something that hurts you if they don’t know it hurts you.

Take a break: So much of human nature is talking about things when it happens but, sometimes it can be much more helpful to take a break before having a conversation that’s going to be difficult.

Be Fair: This goes for both yourself and the other person. People often will put more of the blame on themselves simply to make the other person feel better about what happened. But most of the time taking the responsibility away from the other person can do more damage than it can do good. If you made a mistake on up to it but don’t take the responsibility for a mistake that you did not make.

Be Assertive: It doesn’t do you or the other person any justice if you dance around the issue. Talk about the issue. Get straight to the point. Don’t be afraid to tell them the issue. Talk about how the issue affected you, how the issue made you feel. Sometimes, when you’re not direct about the issue, it can leave people feeling more confused and more defensive.

Be Kind: This can get grouped with ‘be fair’, But I think it deserves it’s own portion. It’s very important that you make it a priority to not take your frustration at the situation and put it on the other person. . If you focus on being kind while also getting what you need to say across, it generally goes over much better and there’s a lot less conflict during the conversation.

Be Willing: Be willing to compromise but also be willing to accept an apology and to forgive and move on from the situation. It’s easily one of the hardest things to do because so many people don’t want to risk getting hurt. It is also important to know when not to forgive. And when compromise is no longer helpful. Be willing to notice your mistakes and accept them, and move on.