An Intro to the “One-day-at-a-time mentality”

Sometimes life gets the best of us and no matter how hard we try, it becomes tough to live in the moment. I know I really struggled with taking things one day at a time because personally it felt unnatural; from the hustle culture often exhibited on social media to the expectations to have everything accounted for in my life, I was hyper-focused on setting bigger long-term goals. For instance, there would be times when I would be out with my friends for the day but my mind just wasn’t there with them. Oh yes, I would be miles away (mentally), thinking about the extra work shifts I signed-up for or which courses to take in the new term, and I would feel guilty that I wasn’t fully there to enjoy our time together. And while there is nothing wrong with planning for the future and having long-term goals in mind, eventually I realized I was becoming consumed by them and openly disregarding things in the present.

This year in particular marks 5 years from the start of the pandemic (although it is not quite March yet), and 5 years from the time I realized things needed to change in my life. In these 5 years, I have tried a number of ways to successfully conquer the “one-day-at-a-time mentality” as I like to call it, and this is my short list comprised of things I found most helpful for slowing down.  

1.Write it out. Write it out. Write it out. Instead of being fixated on the big things out of your reach and becoming overwhelmed in the process, plagued with the negative thoughts, writing your thoughts and feelings out are a great way to get unstuck. I’ve lost count of how many journals I used, but I do remember feeling better instantly, if not after some moments of writing. And don’t fret if you can’t think of what to write because sometimes all it takes is writing about your day to get into the flow of things, and even then while writing you might realize you’ve accomplished more than you initially thought. Moreover, even if you’re beginning to write and you realize you didn’t accomplish as much as you hoped or thought you had, simply surviving the day is a big deal too!

2. Grounding Yourself (not literally). Meditation is often recommended for those that need to unwind from their head and create some distance. By taking a few moments out of the day to just focus on your breathing, you will be able to refocus on what is happening around you rather than what lay ahead in the near future. It does not have to complicated; with your eyes are closed, take one deep breathe in, holding for a few seconds, and then exhale after the same amount of time. This process can be repeated as many times as needed and done several times throughout the day. 

Additionally, I understand I have highlighted it a few times in other my posts, but grounding techniques are proven to provide relief in times of need and it isn’t an exception here. In my article, “What’s TIPP”, I covered one grounding technique that can prevent you from getting too deep in your thought, but there are oh so many out there. The world really is your oyster for finding one that works for you, and the best part is that research about new strategies are still on-going! 

3. Self-Reflect. From my experience, I found I often overlooked this step. I tried several routines with all sorts of healthy habits to break my habit of getting stuck in the future, but without thinking about how far you come, you cannot get far. You might be wondering, doesn’t thinking about the past get you trapped in the past because it still isn’t the present? Well, yes, but can you really appreciate the present if you do not consider the past or earlier progress? Without getting too philosophical here, I believe taking the time to self-reflect is important for relishing the present moment because you’re the only one who can evaluate how far you’ve come and assure yourself everything in the future will turn out okay one way or another. This can be tied to writing it out as one of your journalling prompts, or it can be done by just remembering your past even if it’s in a passing thought. 

4. A Goal a Day. Slowing down to enjoy a moment doesn’t mean you need to completely clear your calendar for a day! Usually, I found that the evening before it’s helpful to assign one small goal for the upcoming day whether it’s go for a walk to get fresh air, run the laundry, or call a friend. Knowing that I have to accomplish one thing the next day not only helps me get unstuck from my head long enough to live in the moment while I’m unwinding for the day, but it also gives me some purpose for the next day (especially on days when I don’t have much to look forward too, and I know I’ll have time to get wound up in my thoughts). It’s all about taking it one day at a time. 

Between all the things on this list, there is one thing in common: they’re all strategies on how to saviour the present moment. Between social media, talking to others about what/how they’re doing, and parental pressures to succeed, there is always something telling (or nagging) us to work harder, so slowing down has to become an active effort on our part. Most things listed are solitary acts that can be done at any time, but it doesn’t have to be done alone and you can also have another person involved in the process. Instead of writing everything out in a journal, you can verbally talk about your day and thoughts to a sibling or friend. For meditation, you can have someone talk you through the steps, whereas for self-reflection once you voice your thoughts to someone close, they will most certainly comfort and remind you about your progress. Telling someone about your goal for the day can also hold you accountable for accomplishing it, and it can become a buddy system where you hold them accountable for theirs if they’re doing something similar. There isn’t any right or wrong way to go about this since the big idea here is to find a way to ease up on the thinking, slow down, and be present. Carpe diem, right?  

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Note: The Free Your Mind Mental Health Society is an independent youth-led organization. The contents of this blog are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. In the event of a medical emergency, please call your doctor or 911 or other local emergency numbers immediately.