REGRET

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Dear Friend, 

Have you ever considered why we have regrets? What exactly are regrets, and why do we carry them with us? Well, they are like echoes of choices that missed the mark, footprints in our memory that we wish we could erase if given the chance. Often lingering in the quiet corners of our minds, they not only remind us of the past but also compel us to reflect deeply on the choices we’ve made and the paths we’ve left behind.

Regrets can weigh down our hearts and souls, becoming heavier the longer we hold on to them. Yet, if we take the time to uncover the lessons hidden within these echoes, we can transform them into stepping stones for growth. They challenge us to embrace our imperfections, learn from our mistakes, and guide us forward on our journey. Instead of letting regrets define us, we can allow them to refine us, shaping a future built on the wisdom of our experiences.

Ask yourself: 

Can you change your past? 

Can you change what happened? 

Can you change the mistake that you made?

If the answer is yes then go ahead and change it. Why hesitate? Is it because you’re worried that if you do something now, someone else will suffer? Then what about you? Above anyone, you must consider yourself. I know that some people say that thinking about only yourself is selfish, but I can assure you that most of the time it’s necessary. Because by doing so, you are protecting yourself. But again, think carefully before doing anything. And ask yourself, are you sure that this time you won’t regret it? 

Well, what if the answer is no? That no matter what you do, you can’t change it (your past actions). If this is the case, then try to let go. Try to find peace with the fact that even if you did things differently, the result might still be the same. It’s okay to feel like you can’t change it because, as humans, we don’t have the power to control everything the way we want.

At times, small regrets pile up and suddenly become a big cluster of “oops”. Having regrets is okay; it’s part of being human. What’s crucial is learning from them and growing. It’s totally fine to make mistakes—nobody’s perfect. We’re all on this journey of growth and learning, so give yourself the space to learn and evolve.

Picture this: you’re stuck thinking about something from the past. You keep wondering, what if you had done things differently? What if you had made another choice? The thing is, you can’t be sure if those changes would have made things better or worse. It’s totally normal to wish for a chance to make things right, but we have to accept that we can’t be sure how things would have turned out if we had done things differently.

When you hold onto regrets and keep beating yourself up, it leads to self-criticism. It’s like a cycle – the more regrets you have, the more you criticize yourself. Over time, you might start making excuses or blaming others to avoid facing that it was your fault. If that sounds familiar, the first thing you need to do is accept that you make mistakes – just like everyone else. It’s important to realize that what’s done is done, and you can’t change it. But here’s the thing: you can learn from it, accept it, and use it to grow into a better version of yourself. It’s all part of being human.

Take a moment to understand why you’re carrying regrets. It’s like digging into the reasons behind it. For instance:

1. Maybe it’s because of the environment you grew up in. (This can be sensitive for some, so approach it gently.)

2. It could be that you’re not giving yourself enough credit or appreciation.

3. Perhaps you always strive to be perfect, setting high standards for yourself.

Identify the whispers of your past and use this newfound understanding to break free from the chains of regret. Remember, growth is a journey, and mistakes are the stepping stones lighting your way.

Sometimes, we might feel a little bummed about our day because we had a chat with someone, and oops, we made a mistake. We worry they might not like us or maybe even have a good laugh about it. But you know what? Those thoughts are just playing tricks on us. Believe it or not, our silly mistakes can make people remember us, and that person might turn out to be super special to us in the future. It’s like our little slip-ups create unexpectedly nice connections.

Regrets might also show up when we’re worried about what might happen in the future and scared of hurting someone else. It’s natural; we’re all human. But here’s the thing: be kind to yourself. You can’t control someone else’s actions, thoughts, feelings, or how they behave. What they do is their choice, not yours. You are your own person, and like I mentioned before taking care of yourself is not selfish—it’s self-love.

Regret might sneak in when you realize you’ve never made a mistake, choice, or action in the past, and this time was your first. But hey, it’s totally okay because everything has a first time. Take a moment and ask yourself why this happened now. Whatever the reason, remember to accept it with kindness and make peace with it. Believe in yourself you will be okay. You’re stronger than you think.

By now, you might be curious, wondering if all this talk about learning and growing is real. Well, let me assure you, it’s not just talk; it’s a beautiful reality. When you genuinely learn from your past, something magical unfolds – you emerge stronger, brighter, and wiser. It’s like a radiant glow-up for your soul.

Now, you might be thinking, “What about those little slip-ups?” They’re a part of life, always lingering. But here’s the heartwarming part: remember to reward yourself, no matter how small, for steering clear of repeating the same mistake. It’s these small celebrations that mold you into a better version of yourself.

Oh, before I go, hold onto this truth: things happened because they were supposed to, or they didn’t because they weren’t meant to. Remind yourself that clinging to regret can cast shadows on your present and future. So, gently let go.

As you drift off to sleep, create a peaceful haven for yourself. Make peace with your imperfections, your past, and wrap yourself in self-love. Because, my friend, you deserve it.

Hope you like it.

Note: The Free Your Mind Mental Health Society is an independent youth-led organization. The contents of this blog are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. In the event of a medical emergency, please call your doctor or 911 or other local emergency numbers immediately.