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Growing old can be a challenging experience for many people, as it presents many new responsibilities and changes that we might not be ready for. Lately I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety towards this new milestone that I will hit on my upcoming birthday.
On April 23rd at 11:00 p.m., I will officially become an adult. Meaning that my teen years are truly over and they will now be a part of a long list of memories. My anxiety and fear towards my 20s comes with an unfulfilled feeling or sense of dissatisfaction; that I did not accomplish enough over the last 19 years of my life. Another factor that comes into play is my strong fear that with this new era of my life comes the expectation of having everything figured out.
I’ve been struggling with this fear and anxiety ever since new year’s. When the subject is brought up in conversation, all I hear from people is that I’m still “so young”, my life is “just beginning”, or that I’m “still a baby”. Although these words were supposed to be encouraging, they did little to nothing to quell my anxiety and fears.
You might be reading this because you feel the same way as me. You might be asking yourself if there is any way to manage your fear and anxiety towards aging. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been doing a few mindfulness practices to prepare me for this new step in my life.
- Looking into your fear
- Questions about my fear help me understand where my anxiety settles when it comes to aging. By asking myself things, I’m able to truly see what lies underneath and figure out what I can do to help myself. For me, my fears and anxieties come from the fact that I believe that I will have less opportunities because I no longer fit into a certain age bracket. My dissatisfaction also plays a role, as it makes me feel behind because I haven’t hit a certain milestone in my life.
- Listing out your accomplishments
- I tend to be caught up with the “what if’s” of my life – so much so that I easily forget all of the work and accomplishment that I have made in the process.
- I tend to look at both huge and small accomplishments as this helps me see the bigger picture and also recognize some of my unseen works.
- Don’t limit yourself due to age
- The big thing about age is that it limits our perspective on what we think we can do, as it often feels like a big wall is being built all around us. To stop feeling trapped, I start listing out things that I want to do or accomplish with this new season of my life
- I list down places I want to travel to, programs I want to join or even new hobbies I want to try out when I’m more free with my time.
- It’s okay to not know
- With a new age comes questions from families and strangers about our next steps or plans for our lives. These questions often add to the anxiety that we already have and are just another pressure point that makes us fear aging. It is important to remember that you don’t need to have a grandiose plan for your life, especially if this plan holds you down instead of guiding you.
- The way that I approach these questions is by simply telling people that I don’t know or that I will figure things out along the way. Yes! It is scary to give people this sort of answer as it might make you look unprepared, but it also helps you build a sense of comfort and it’s a great reminder to take everything day by day.
- Reading encouraging stories
- I tend to go watch or read stories of people that have accomplished things at a later age, because it inspires me to keep chasing my dream no matter what. Stories of people that have made it later in their lives are also a great source of inspiration as it helps us understand that success doesn’t always show up immediately but hard work is what gets us to that place.
- Remember to enjoy your time
- Make time to enjoy the company of those you love. These could be your friends, family members, or a community you feel comfortable with. These interactions will help you feel grounded.
- Take the time to celebrate with them because life truly goes by fast and it is important for us to choose how and with whom we wish to spend that time with.
Our journey of acceptance towards aging will differ from person to person, but it’s important to give yourself some grace especially if you still aren’t where you want to be. Overall, always consider that time doesn’t stop because we turn a certain age.